London By Air

We landed in London in a sea of fog, both on the ground and in our sleep deprived heads. Seriously after a long long long flight direct from D.C. we found ourselves in a holding pattern above London due to thick ground fog. In fact as we finally made our approach you could not see the ground until we were about 10 feet over the runway. Okay, okay...London gets fog, but why did my wife and I have fog in our heads? The simple answer...the baby.

Not often, but every now and again, life imitates art that imitates life. Our flight over had all of the hallmarks of a movie or sitcom. The flight had been moved up by six hours, and we had not been notified. We arrived late to the airport only to find ourselves at the wrong end of an extremely long queue. Our flight was delayed in take off due to the plane arriving late. Our flight was delayed in landing due to weather. As if that was not enough...we actually had a crying baby on board the plane, just a few seats in front of us.

I am not one who sleeps very well on flights, if at all. I usually find the flight very uncomfortable and this just keeps me awake. This time, however, I thought may be different. I actually found myself thinking this as I began to drift off after a very nice dinner. I had my chair leaned back, my tummy was full, I was watching the Zohan movie, and my noise canceling headphone were working overtime. It was a pleasant place to be at that very moment. My eyelids grew heavy, and much to my surprise I began to drift. Wow, I was going to sleep the rest of the way to London. The remaining 3 and a half hours of the flight would be done by time I woke up. This was going to be fantastic.

At first the screeching sound was faint and far away. Barely noticeable. Then it grew louder. Suddenly I was jerked awake. What had happened? Had we broken a hydraulic hose? Had the flaps been jammed? What had that noise been? What on earth had ripped me from my sleep? Then I heard it again. It sounded like a wounded mountain lion. It sounded like something completely alien and inhuman. Again I heard the screech. It was coming from a few rows ahead. Once more the shrieking called out into the dark plane cabin, followed by a plea. Followed by a desperate plea. "Shhhhhh....shhhh"

After I regained my senses and figured out that the plane was not falling appart nor had a giant rift been opened to some demon realm, it dawned on me that the sound actually came from something 1/10 my size. Something small. Unfortunately size does not mean a whole lot 36,000 feet in the air. Something that small had the power to bring every passenger to their knees.

And you know what? I think he knew it!

Anyway that was our flight to London. Virgin Atlantic is a great company. We had awesome food, great entertainment, but they lacked the ability and courage to face a small child and make the rest of us happy. Don't they train for this sort of thing? I doubt that child could have handled more than 10 or 20 adults with large forks or sticks.